5/8/94

From Moses to Herzl To Esther Salmovitz

She is a typical, unknown citizen who looks like she stopped by the Knesset to powder her nose on the day Tsomet was looking to fill its list.

    "Daddy?"
    "I'm reading the paper."
    "Can I ask you a question?"
    "If it's a short one."
    "What's 'politics'?"
    "That's easy. It's the art of governance."
    "I see. Daddy?"
    "Hmm?"
    "What's 'Israeli politics'?"
    "That's not so easy. It's what made Esther Salmovitz the most powerful person in this country for a while, a one-woman force that could have changed the course of national history by herself, the missing link between Zionist history and the aspirations for future harmony of our people, the last in a long, long line of great Zionist leaders that started with -- well, with Moses.
    "You see, Moses got the thing started when he was nominated to lead  the Israelites. He and his staff made all kinds of impossible, unbelievable promises to everyone who would follow him, and all kinds of threats of doom to everyone who wouldn't. Also, he said that God was on his side. Furthermore, he ran unopposed. He won in a landslide. He was the first Zionist leader, but he never lived here.
    "The second Zionist leader was named Herzl. He never lived here either.
    "Herzl said this should be a Jewish country, and people all over the world packed their bags and said 'Yalla.' But, like now we have travel agents, then they had Zionist leaders. Immigrants had to choose an ideological destination, as it were: an aliya of labor and toil, or arms and weapons, or prayer and study. They could sign up for Cultural Zionism or Socialist Zionism or Practical Zionism or Revisionist Zionism or Synthetic Zionism or Religious Zionism or Agricultural Zionism or Religious-Agricultural Zionism or Colonial Zionism or Diplomatic Zionism or Militant Zionism or Anti-Zionism. Actually, the only thing missing was a Zionist State. Did you catch all that?"
    "Yes, Daddy."
    "Good, because now it gets complicated. There were hundreds of thousands of Jews, thousands of Zionist leaders, hundreds of ideologies, dozens of parties but only one vote per person, which gave everybody equal influence and nobody any influence. That's democracy.
    "However, here we have large parties and small parties, and the large ones get most of the votes and the small ones get most of the power. That's Israeli democracy. Is that sensible? Of course! Because that gives every citizen the right to be a party and with one single parliamentary vote, he or she can influence policy and govern every other citizen and that's what makes this country great.
    "But here's the best part: the closing of the Zionist circle: the trail from Moses to Herzl to Esther Salmovitz.
    "On the one hand, there was the great-state interpretation of Herzl's ideal as propounded by the Revisionists, who joined with the Irgun and Lehi to form Herut, which Begin began and which merged with the Liberals which was a marriage of the General Zionists and the Progressive Party (which had split from each other, reunited and then split again), though the revised Revisionists later seceded from the General Zionists and the General Zionists linked up with Herut to form Gahal while the Progressives doubled back and became the Independent Liberals, later to join again when the bunch of them became the Likud, led ideologically by a revision of the revised Revisionists, which linked ideologically with Tsomet, from which Yi'ud splintered, which itself splintered when Esther Salmovitz disagreed with the rest of her splinters, though it didn't even end there because she herself was of two minds.
    "On the other hand, there was the socialist interpretation of Herzl's ideal as expressed by Poalei Zion, which amalgamated Mapai (the unity of Hapoel Hatzair and Ahdut Ha'avoda) together with Mapam (which had united Hashomer Hatzair and another part of Ahdut Ha'avoda) when Ahdut Ha'avoda later seceded again to join again with Poalei Zion after which Maki, another offshoot through the communists, later rejoined the remnants, which, together with Mapai and Ahdut Ha'avoda, and not to forget Rafi, which left and then returned, formed the Labor Party, a realigned Alignment Party that would go on to form a coalition with Meretz, a coalition that comprises Labor’s former Alignment ally Mapam, the Shinui splinter from Dash, and Ratz, started by a former Laborite -- all of whom waited breathlessly while Esther Salmovitz decided which party she disagreed with least. As it turned out, she rejected both the coalition and the opposition and broke off from her break-off party which broke off from a break-off of, uh, where were we...."
    "...Of the Likud."
    "Of course. So now she represents the opposition within the coalition, which means her share of the electoral support is in a right-left limbo, putting her on both sides, and neither, in a unique position of both power and powerlessness.
    “What's funny is that nobody even voted for her, nobody ever heard of her, nobody knows how she got there and nobody knows what to do with her."
    "I see, Daddy. Then all those votes for the Likud-led bloc through Esther Salmovitz via Yi'ud's Tsomet parent party which, together with a return of Shas, should strengthen Labor, giving those voters a sense of national unity by realizing Herzl's original vague concept of one state for all the Jewish people, right?"
    "Precisely. Now can I go back to reading the paper?"
    "Sure. If you'd just tell me one more thing. What will Esther Salmovitz do now?"
    "She's in a great position, actually: beholden to no party, no ideology, neither wing, not even the religious. She has no electorate, no directorate, no secretariat, no whips, bosses or leaders to answer to. As such she represents the floating voter, which most Israelis are at one time or another. As a typical, anonymous, unknown citizen who looks like she just stopped by the Knesset to powder her nose on the day Tsomet happened to be looking to fill its electoral list, she is the true representative of the frustrated, faceless man and woman on the street.
    "On the other hand, she could build support based on her status as the only all-woman Knesset entity. She could say the real reason she held out against the entire Knesset is its Machiavelian machismo. I mean, what other unrepresented "minority" possesses half the votes but women! On that statistically-dominant basis she could announce her candidacy for prime minister. She could spend the rest of this Knesset term stirring up a battle of the sexes. It's a fresh new focus this tormented country could use. 
    "Or, she could go back to Tsomet as a renegade coming home to papa. Israelis loves that.
    "She could stay where she is and build up her platform prowess, taking populist stances on every parliamentary issue, threatening the left to join the right on every vote, and vice versa. If nothing else she'd be in the papers every day.
    "Or she could join Yi'ud in the government, demanding a deputy-ministership, which ruling parties hand out like business cards. But then she'd never be heard from again.
    "That, I believe, covers her options. However, there is one more, one option tailor-made for her unique situation, one that would utilize her capacities and talents and political savvy to the utmost, an option that is the most needed and least fulfilled position in modern governance throughout the world. It's a function Esther Salmovitz was born to perform."
    "Oooh, Daddy, tell me, tell me!"
     "She can be the Official Who Speaks On Condition Of Anonymity."